Pure Sole: Sweaters on? Show ‘em off!

Employees at Petersburg's Lee's Clothing store pose in their Dale of Norway sweaters. (Klas Stolpe / Juneau Independent)

By Klas Stolpe

Juneau Independent

I have learned a lot in my 66 years.

Well, some things… a few… not much really.

But sweaters. I know a thing or two about sweaters.

I had been hoping to share my knowledge gleaned from years of succumbing to my Norwegian-themed hometown’s vast sweater lineage when the annual Solstice Sweater Shuffle kicks off at 10 a.m. Saturday on the Treadwell Mine trail or in the Solstice Celebration from 4-8 p.m. Sunday at the Mendenhall Lake Campground.

I may wear my favorite, emblazoned with “My Eyes Are Up Here, My Feet Are Down There” for all those laddies and lasses I meet who give me the ol’ up-and-down. (Hey, I can dream.)

Norwegian sweaters are toasty. Not necessarily because of the high-quality, 100% wool used but, well, Norwegians are just basically sweet, warm and loving individuals… yeah, right… says the Swede who has hid through many of Petersburg’s 17th of May, Little Norway, Syttende Mai, Big Norway’s Constitution Day - independence from Sweden - celebrations.

Maybe I will wear “My Herring is Good, My Eyesight is Bad” that was such a hit at the Sons of Norway town hall meeting so many celebrations ago.

Now I know many of you won’t be rocking the Dale of Norway wool sweaters that have been a hit since 1879 and copied from the designs of a long-ago bestemor (grandma) for an ancient bestefar (grandpa)… Those are some spendy threads. And rightly so as they make a shy Swedish boy look like he is a freaking blond-haired blue-eyed Viking god prince - even if his prominent brown hair and brown eyes raise a few Sons of Norway sergeants at arms’ eyebrows.

Yeah, my Dale sweater says, “No, Really, This is My Sweater.”

Now, in Petersburg a sweater, whether gifted by well-meaning cousins, crafted by meaning-well bestemors or bought for twice the price at the local heritage store - the name of which is written in a tongue I know not the meaning of - comes with two things — cookies and a how-to guide for wearing, washing, weather conditions, etc. etc.

My “When I Fall Down I Make Snow Angels” sweater came with my favorite Krumkaker and a few notes.

Oh, oh, oh… one year at solstice Greta Frankensdötter, who had been grooming me for a potential sweetheart since beating me up in third grade, date-gifted me an itchy piece she wove from harvested pelts and pet sheddings and bearing Norse words that translated to “Wear This or Else.”

She also included a five-chapter manifesto.

In Greta’s chapters, one is relevant to Saturday’s Juneau Trail & Roadrunners’ Solstice Sweater Shuffle at Treadwell Mine trail and Sunday’s JDHS Nordic Ski team’s Light the Night - A Solstice Celebration at Mendenhall Lake Campground. (They both will have cookies, by the way.)

The chapter spoke of hydrating with electrolytes and tea and bone broth and other fluids to offset the cold — the testing of which involved the color of snow after urinating on it. It noted to get a good rest the night before, turning off screens at least 45 minutes before bed so bodies are ready to head into a solid REM cycle. It spoke of fueling, eating a balanced meal full of complex carbohydrates, fats and proteins — to practice what makes me feel best so I know what to put in my stomach for blissful days and nights. It said to stretch, do a little yoga, a little foam rolling or a light hot and cold treatment.

Yeah, Greta was a lot… for an eighth-grade lass and classmate, Greta was a lot.

And sweaters do not have to have writings… They can be adorned with so much more. Past celebrations of Jól in my hometown saw remnants of branches, fish parts and lit candles -—Yes! Petr, son of Richard, I am calling you out for that inebriated assemblage.

One year I crafted my own sweater. “Me and Jesus,” it said, as my birthdate is just hours before his, and it showed a wonderful big cake and of course, gifts carded for me — not so many for HE (crossing myself as you read this). My pastor and parish seemed less joyous about it than my heathen pew mates.

So with this weekend’s Cold Weather Advisory warning of windchills down to -15F, be sure to wear a sweater. Be creative, be festive, be smart and be joyous.

I will.

At 10 a.m. Saturday on the Treadwell Mine trail or from 4-8 p.m. Sunday at the Mendenhall Lake Campground, don’t be surprised to see me clad in something old, new, borrowed or — dare I say it — bearing the colors of the best flag, the ‘ol red/white/blue of… NORWAY of course (check out their flag)!

Maybe I can wear my “Here For The Snow” sweater.

• Contact Klas Stolpe at klas.stolpe@gmail.com.