World doesn’t need another blast of hot air

By Larry Persily

Everyone needs a break from reality — myself included.

It’s a depressing and distressing time to think about what’s happening in our country and the rest of the world.

From shameful deaths in Gaza, Ukraine, Iran and Minneapolis, unaffordable health care for tens of millions of people in the U.S., and a Congress that is as divided as the North and South during the Civil War, it’s hard to find anything in the news that is worthy of a laugh.

Every day I hope for better, but I am disappointed.

Sunday’s news included statements by President Donald Trump at one of those exclusive black-tie events for rich and famous people in Washington, D.C. The president tried his skill at being a stand-up comedian, which is a joke when you consider his lack of skills at most everything else.

He made fun of U.S. Sen. Elizabeth Warren, who has long claimed American Indian ancestry, calling her “Pocahontas,” a mocking label he has used countless times over the years. But this time, standing in his tuxedo and telling jokes, Trump delivered his most insulting punchline: He said the Massachusetts Democrat was supposed to be at the fancy dinner “but couldn’t find her reservation.”

Like I said, generally not much in the news to lift my spirits, my hopes for a better place, or even just amuse me for a few minutes before the next headline.

But sometimes I run across a story in the news that distracts me from all that upsets me — and makes me laugh.

I read a review of a $300 rechargeable, handheld home device, essentially a leaf blower for your kitchen. If you can’t laugh at the silliness of that, your sense of humor needs a counselor.

For people who live indoors and don’t have trees dropping leaves onto their kitchen counter, the two-pound Hedgehog can blow away whatever else you don’t want on your floors or counters with a jet stream that can reach 162 mph. That’s the takeoff speed for a Boeing 737 jet. I’d rather pay $300 for a ticket on a real jet to Seattle and let someone else clean up the crumbs from my in-flight pretzels.

The appliance blasts its high-powered stream through an opening just over an inch in diameter, which makes me think of sandblasters and power washers, and whether you need to wear safety goggles, a hard hat and steel-toed boots before turning on your kitchen jet.

The reviewer tried out the Hedgehog around the kitchen, reporting that it was marvelous at blowing water off plastic cups and plastic bags, as if just waiting for them to dry on their own was too easy. It performed a professional blow-dry on knives and other utensils, though I don’t think it does styling, curling or straightening.

It can blast away water that collects on a counter, which I suppose is useful if you don’t mind blowing the water onto your floor.

And just to make sure users don’t run out of chores for their new toy, the Hedgehog is mighty enough to blow crumbs out of a toaster oven or the back of a pantry. I would miss shaking the toaster upside down over the sink, which always worked for me.

Maybe it’s technology making our lives easier. Or maybe it’s just proof that some people have too much money to spend. But I don’t have time to think about it anymore — I need to go dry my plastic bags and cups with a towel.

• Larry Persily is the publisher of the Wrangell Sentinel, which originally published this column.